“My Very Dear Wife” vs. “Dear John”

This week in class, we focused on love letters. We listened to a podcast episode highlighting letters from a range of time periods, some written by George Washington and others by WWII soldiers. I especially enjoyed hearing about letters from George Washington to his wife. We do not know much about specific people and their thoughts from that long ago, so I found it interesting to learn something new about our first president, as I have already been taught so much in all my years of schooling. For example, in his letter, he said some things about the war and the movement of his troops, but George also included loving words, like “…I retain an unalterable affection for you, which neither time or distance can change…”. These affections were something we do not see much of in history books but, I believe it is important to see the personal side of the people involved in our history. This often helps us understand them better.

Similar to these declarations of love by George Washington, I loved the letters between Norma Clinton and Harry Kipp. I am so shocked that such a powerful feeling like love can grow through only words on paper. Having only met a few times in the past, the two people used words, and only their words, to build a passionate relationship that ended in a successful marriage. I am a sucker for cheesy romance, so I enjoyed this immensely and I am glad that this kind of love has been around for so long. It sparks the idea that writing letters to your partner, or just your friends, can strengthen and deepen your relationship. I wonder if writing love letters could be used as some sort of gratitude exercise as well. Possibly between couples who are struggling in their relationship or as a small gift for a birthday or anniversary.

On the opposite side of love letters, there are what is known as “Dear John” letters. These were letters from a woman to a man where she tells him that their relationship is over, often because she has found someone else. It saddens me to learn that in the midst of a war, soldiers were receiving letters like this and feeling helpless to the situation. I understand that is always best to be honest with your partner, even if they are away at war, but I cannot help but feel bad for these men. Oftentimes, their family and friends from back home were the main source of hope and motivation to continue on. Losing a part of that hope must have been devastating for their mental state. This prompts me to wonder how these situations affected the women as well. Did they feel remorse? Or were the letters only a way for them to confess to their wrongs and ease their guilt? Similarly, I have other questions about what was not said in some of the more traditional love letters. Was there a chance that some women were not faithful throughout their husband’s time away? Did they ever confess? How did this affect their relationship moving forward, if their partners survived?

While we may never know the full stories, love (and Dear John) letters can give us major insight into the softer, more personal, lives of soldiers and their families, giving us a nice break from the gruesome factors of war.